48 Different Ways To A Perfect Kiss

The perfect kiss is one that is done with someone you really care about. There is more caring and sincerity in a kiss with someone special than with someone you hardly know, although a really good kiss can certainly bring two people closer together.

The perfect kiss can be done in 48 different ways, here they are:

- 1 - ICE KISS
Celebrate the first day of winter with an ice kiss. Put an ice cube in your mouth until your mouth becomes cold. Remove the cube, track down your love and plant a kiss that will send chills!

- 2 - ELECTRIC SHOCK KISS
The two of you shuffle your feet furiously on carpet. When you both have an electric charge, lean over and slowly aim for each other's lips. With your lips about one-half inch apart, move in even slower until a spark jumps between the two of you. Instantly after this happens, kiss one another...the please us the kiss right after the shock!

- 3 - CAMPING KISS
On a beautiful cool night, you and your love crawl into a sleeping bag outside. Cuddle and kiss.

- 4 - REWARD KISS
Next time your love performs some disliked home chore like cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, or taking out the garbage, show your appreciation by tucking a candy kiss in a strategic location.

- 5 - POST-IT KISS
Use 3M Post-It notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note. You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a Post-It note over your lips that says, "LIFT FOR KISS"

- 6 - KISSING IN THE RAIN
The next time it rains, grab an umbrella, rain coats, and your love. Then go outside and kiss in the rain. If the spirit of the kiss moves you, remove the umbrella and kiss 'till the two of you are soaked.

- 7 - HERSHEY`S KISSES
Prepare a small bag of Hershey`s kisses and slip it into your love's purse, briefcase, or lunchbox. Attach a note that reads "SORRY, I CAN'T BE THERE IN PERSON, BUT THINK OF ME AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Close your eyes and place the candy between your lips. Drop the candy in your mouth and roll it on your tongue until it melts.

- 8 - TRACY AND HEPBURN KISS
Make flash cards, and the two of you re-enact the following kissing scene from WOMAN OF THE YEAR:

- 9 - KISSES IN A BALLOON
Cut out small red tissue lips, and place them inside an opaque balloon filled with helium (any party store could do this for you) Tie the balloon to your love's chair at dinner. Desert is a shower of kisses delivered by a sharp pin.

- 10 - TOLL KISS
Next time you are driving your love somewhere, stop the car before crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, and say the toll must be paid before you can go any further. Of course, the toll cost in one kiss.

- 11 - MORSE CODE KISS
If you know Morse code, great, If not, this is a great way to learn. Find a Morse Code chart. Using long and short kisses, spell out a message to your love and have him or her try to decipher them.

- 12 - KISSING METER KISSES
We have parking meters, so why not kissing meters? Turn a box into your own kissing meter and wear it around your neck. Give your love kissing tokens to start your kissing meter. Have an "expired" sign appear when you need another kiss.

- 13 - AUDIO STIMULATION
Make a cassette of kissing noises and place in your love's cassette player (walkman, car or home) with a note attached.

- 14 - BREAKFAST IN BED KISS
Slip out of bed early and prepare a special "Kissing" breakfast to serve to your love in bed. Pick foods that you can easily pick up and feed to your love. Kiss between bites!

- 15 - STAIRWELL KISS
This kiss is to be done at a party or at a gathering with your love. Steal away to a private location like behind a door or tree, or on the stairwell and passionately kiss each other. The risk of being discovered in the act is the key element.

- 16 - SCUBA KISSING
Wearing a diving mask and fins, simulate swimming underwater. Snorkel across the room to your love and kiss him or her.

- 17 - EYE TEST KISS
Make an eye chart like the ones that you see in a doctor's office where the letters get progressively smaller. Have the chart read, "IF you can read this you are standing close enough to kiss me." Now find your love and give an eye exam.

- 18 - THYMELY KISS
Thyme, according to the Greeks, is the herb which makes one irresistible kissable. Prepare a meal for your love using the herb. Moments after the first bite, rush to your love's lips with a passionate kiss. Come up for air, announce the Greeks were right, then rush back with another passionate kiss.

- 19 - SHOPPING LIST KISSES
Turn your shopping list into a scorecard the next time the two of you go shopping. The one who finds the item gets credit toward one kiss. Kisses are collected either on delivery to the grocery cart, or later at home.

- 20 - BAD HABIT KISS
Offer to stop a bad habit if your love will pay you kisses. For instance, a kiss for each cigarette not smoked, putting the toilet seat down, and/or every phone call kept under three minutes is rewarded with a kiss.

- 21 - CLOUD SHAPE KISS
Take your love to the backyard or out in a field: lie down on a blanket, and together inspect cloud formations. When both of you see the same thing, reward each other with a kiss.

- 22 - CHECK KISS
With your personal check, make a check out to your love for 1,000 kisses. Tell your love he or she can cash it in any time.

- 23 - TOE KISS
Prepare a foot bath for your love at the end of a long day. After the good soak, you towel dry his or her feet, give a massage and seal each toe with a kiss.

- 24 - CHOCOLATE HEART KISSES
Buy several boxes of little chocolate hearts that have sayings on them. Pick out all the "KISS ME" hearts and put them in a heart shaped box with the note "REDEEMABLE ANYTIME, day or night!"

- 25 - RENDEZVOUS KISS
With a note or phone call, tell your love to meet you at a certain place and time (e.g. park bench, street corner, ice cream stand) for a present. When your love arrives, have a bow stick to your lips.

- 26 - BATH KISS
Surprise your love with a kiss while he/she is showering or in the tub. (WARNING: Prepare to get wet)

- 27 - MACHINE GUN KISS
In rapid succession, plant 12 quick ones on your lover's lips.

- 28 - KISS-A-THON
Passionately kiss your love for at least five minute longer than usual.

- 29 - PINK PANTHER KISS
Humming the Pink Panther theme, prowl toward your partner. On the high note, pounce and pucker. Suggestion-wear only pink!

- 30 - THIRST QUENCHER KISS
For no reason, stare at your love's mouth while licking your lips as though dying of thirst. Inevitably, your love will ask what you're doing. ANSWER: I want them! I have to have them! I yearn to drink from them! Then ask for a kiss to quench your thirst!

- 31 - GREAT EXPECTATIONS KISS
Inform your love one morning that he or she will soon receive a fabulous kiss. Later, call you love with a reminder. When next you see your love, pull out the stops and plant a long, hot, passionate kiss.

- 32 - GOODBYE * 2 KISS
Send off your love in the morning with a quick kiss. As your love turns to leave, pull him or her back for a second, more passionate kiss

33 - RIDDLE KISS
Ask you love to solve the following riddle:
I am just two and two
I am warm, I am cold,
I am lawful, unlawful
A duty, a fault
I am often sold dear,
Good for nothing when bought;
an extraordinary boon,
and a matter of course,
and yielding with pleasure
When taken by force.
If your love solves it, ask for a demonstration as proof. If he or she cannot show the answer, of course, the answer is a kiss.

- 34 - KISS MANDATE
Command your love to kiss you. Elaborate on the technique you expect (e.g. long and wet, or the way Rhett kissed Scarlett) and where and when you will get it.

- 35 - UNEXPECTED KISS
When the two of you are doing the usual, lean over and give your love a sweet kiss on the cheek for no good reason and whisper...I LOVE YOU!

- 36 - POST OFFICE KISS
Notify your love you have personal mail to deliver. Pull your love into the nearest dark closet; close the door and play POST OFFICE: No instructions included!

- 37 - KNOCK-KNOCK KISS
Stage the following knock-knock joke with your love:
KNOCK KNOCK
Who is there?
Kiss
Kiss who?
Kiss who? Why me, of course!

- 38 - BEGGAR`S KISS
That's right, on your knees with your hands clasped, plead for any kiss you love is humbly willing to give you!

- 39 - TOOTHPASTE KISS
Brush your teeth together. When your love's mouth is all sudsy, plant a big wet one on the lips. WARNING: MAKE SURE TOOTHBRUSHES ARE OUT OF THE WAY!

- 40 - PALM KISS
Holding your love's chin with your palm, smile and deliver a sweet kiss to his or her lips!

- 41 - 30 KISSES
Inform your love that in honor of the 30th of the month, you will kiss him or her 30 times during the day!

- 42 - CAT KISS
Rub against your love's legs while meowing and purring. Now that you have your love's attention, touch noses. Playfully paw your love while moving in for a kiss.

- 43 - EYELID KISS
While kissing your love, watch for his or her eyes to close. Sweetly place a light kiss on each eyelid. Note: Be careful!

- 44 - EAR KISS
Whisper to your love how special he or she is to you, and then seal your message with an ear kiss!

- 45 - VALENTINE KISS
Celebrate Valentine's Day with kisses in the shape of a "V" on the face of your lover.

- 46 - FOOTBALL KISS
After a pass during a football game, kiss your love.

- 47 - SLEEPING BEAUTY KISS
Awaken your love from slumber with a tender kiss on the lips!

- 48 - No-Cal Kiss
After dinner, give your love a no-calorie desert...your lips.

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The Secret Of A Perfect First Date

David Wygant

Throughout the years, men have always asked me, "How do I make that first date as perfect as she expects it to be?"
I've come up with a checklist of some of my favorite first-date tactics that will leave her glowing at the end of the night. In fact, these are so good, she'll be texting or calling you within the next 24 hours expecting more of the same!

1. It's OK to suggest a drink instead of dinner for a first date. She dreads a potentially boring, four-course ordeal, too!

2. Always call her by early evening on Tuesday to confirm a Wednesday get-together -- it's the polite thing to do and it lets her know you're already thinking about her.

3. Be sure to leave both your home and work phone numbers. If you don't leave your home number, she might assume you have a wife or girlfriend. If you don't leave any number, she'll wonder what game you're playing.

4. If you want to keep the plans a surprise, at least clue her in as to what to wear. You do not want an overdressed, overstressed woman navigating in high heels on a sunset beach walk.

5. Always listen to what she has to say, and make sure you wait until she's done talking before responding.

6. Don't assume that just because you're out with a beautiful woman, she knows how pretty she looks -- she wants to hear it from you. Don't go overboard, though, or she might think you're insincere.

7. Men judge women according to whether they can picture having sex with them; women judge men by whether they can imagine kissing them. White teeth, fresh breath, great shoes, cell phone turned off, and unchapped lips make her more apt to lock lips with you that night.

8. Do not ask her, "So, what kind of music do you like?" The last 10 guys asked that. Be original and instead fill your iPod with a great mix of music that expresses your style.

9. Tip well. Believe me, she'll be watching.

10. Reading body language is simple: If she touches your arm, she's interested. If she touches your leg, she's interested tonight. If she leans away from you the whole night, she is not interested at all.

11. Very small gestures go a long way and show her you're a gentleman. When you drop her off at her house, be sure to wait the extra 30 seconds while she gets inside (and next time you might be going in with her!).

12. Women need momentum. Without it, they lose interest or wonder if you have lost it, too. Follow up with a phone call the next night. Even more important, ask her out at the end of the date. Don't play games or wait.

13. Never look at another woman when you are on a date. If she catches your wandering eye, you are done.

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Videotape Yourself While Having Sex

It's about 7 P.M., and I'm engrossed in a video of Katy and Mark, a married 20-something couple, having sex.

I don't like what I see.

Katy energetically climbs on top of Mark and works her way toward orgasm while Mark might as well be lying in a coffin. Katy grabs Mark's shoulders; his hands remain virtually motionless at his sides. Her moans grow more insistent; whatever noise he might be making isn't even loud enough for the microphone to pick up.

No, I'm not watching porn (though if it were porn, it would be disastrous). Mark and Katy, who have been together since they were teenagers, are one of the dozens of couples who come to me seeking help with their love lives. Mark claims he wants "rampant" sex with his wife. But from what I see, he needs to look up the word.

I help couples like Mark and Katy by watching videos of them having sex (and interacting outside of the bedroom), then analyzing what I see. These aren't Paris Hilton-style tapes; they're videos that force couples to take an uncensored look at how they treat each other. The nuances in body language they reveal-a lack of eye contact here, a perfunctory hug there-hint at much deeper issues in the relationship.

For every couple I've seen on tape, the camera illuminates the contradiction between what they think they do and what they actually do. While Mark insisted he wanted his sex life to sizzle, you wouldn't know it. Even his position-flat on his back-reflected his passiveness. When we noted this on the footage, Mark was floored.

For many, the thought of a camera in the bedroom is at best adventurous, at worst perverted. But for those who wonder, What kind of person would agree to have their sex life videotaped and analyzed?, I say, "Well, what would the cameras reveal if they were filming you?"

Think of the camera as the mirror you've never looked into. After Katy viewed a bungled bedroom moment-she flung Mark's arm away when he tried to cuddle with her on the bed-we paused the tape. I told her I had a secret, then whispered, "Men have feelings, too." She started bawling, and we had to give her a few minutes to collect herself. She had no idea she was confusing her husband's attempt at affection with a quest to get in her pants.

This confusion between affection and sex surfaces often, and it's a multilayered issue. First, if someone isn't in the mood for sex and assumes her partner is, she usually chooses the wrong way to reject him (like Katy did). Second, this "all or nothing" mentality reinforces the idea that physical contact must be sexual. On film, these issues become all too clear.

Another couple, Bina and Mark, struggled with a related issue. Bina, whose sex drive outpaced her boyfriend's, constantly pressured him for romps. What she didn't know - until she saw herself clinging all over Mark - is that she was craving simple body-to-body contact as much as a good shag.

Bina's preoccupation with sex highlights a similar line of thought among many couples: that simply being a good lover can carry the rest of the relationship. You can brag all you want about how well you go down on your boyfriend, but if you act like a bitch all the time, he's probably thinking about somebody else while you're doing it.

If you want your sex life to bloom, you have to pay more attention to tilling the soil than planting the flower. That means making your partner feel good about you, himself or herself, and your relationship-the stuff we always hear but don't pay much attention to. Out-of-bed footage and video diaries reinforce that what happens at 8 a.m. clearly affects what happens at 8 p.m.


Paul, a feisty 23-year-old engaged to Sally-Ann, who is 11 years older, was downright embarrassed to watch himself constantly brandishing his penis and begging to be serviced by his fiancée, even if she was wiped out after doing all the housework. Almost as quickly as he could zip up his pants, Paul went about changing his behavior. He signed up for his share of the housework - and actually did it - and stopped acting like a prepubescent. As a result, Sally-Ann stopped using sex as a bartering tool and began to see it as a mutually enjoyable act.


Gone was the sexual power struggle that plagues so many couples. While both partners are the gatekeepers of sex, the one who says no and keeps the gate shut has the power. The danger in amassing that power-and doling out sex like cookies, as one member of a couple often does-is that it inevitably generates a power-resentment loop. The more you say no, the angrier, more frustrated your partner gets-and the angrier, more frustrated your partner gets, the more you want to say no.

Kelly and Sean, married for less than a month, had a different power dynamic. Kelly clearly had the upper hand in the marriage, partying with her friends several nights a week and whining for Sean to do things like bring her a glass of water when they were in bed-generally treating him like a doormat. Not surprisingly, her dominance extended into their sex life.

The solution ended up being several bans for the couple. Kelly wasn't allowed to talk on her cell phone after 9 p.m. (a huge sacrifice, considering she'd brought the damn thing to bed on their honeymoon) or initiate sex. Sean, on the other hand, was banned from doing Kelly any favors unless she reciprocated. The results were phenomenal: Kelly began to respect Sean, and he went from submissive to sure of himself. Their sex life soared, and their follow-up footage-with Kelly looking smitten and Sean confident-was some of the most touching we taped.

Of course, on-the-mark advice doesn't always save couples. Sean and Safia sparked in their sex life but noticed they spent most of their free time watching television. After they turned it off, they discovered they had nearly nothing in common and broke up.

If the thought of a camera watching you in bed makes you cringe, I challenge you to ask yourself why. If it's because you view sex as a private act, that's one thing. But if it's because you're uncomfortable with what the footage might reveal-your selfishness? his passivity? hours of the two of you sleeping?-then perhaps you need to take a harder look at your relationship. With or without a camera.

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Playing The Game Of Attraction - First Flirt

Flirting is a part of the human body language and also affects our relationship issues. The 1st flirt is about sending out those crucial contact messages, where they can be either acknowledged or dismissed. That is the almost mandatory part of making the important contact.

Women are known for their boldness in initiating of the 1st flirt as it can be read on a woman's body language. That is why it is assumed that women flirt more than men. This to some degree is true since women are in a sense the subconscious flirters. Men also flirt; these are his signals of attracting that lady that he fancies.

Guys flirt is like the 1st flirt, which is in a sense a cat and mouse game. And men are known for their hunting prowess, where they normally want to be the conqueror instead of the conquered. And flirting gives the men a chance to sharpen their hunting wits and enjoy the chase; hopefully they do not end up in their own snare. It is all part of the cosmic effect of dating. And that is why so many books are written and are still being written on the subject of 'How to flirt with girls.' Evidently these books are there to help guys flirt more effectively. But is such a thing possible? Can you learn how to flirt with girls?

Obviously with the sale of the books on the subject of flirting increasing, it might be possible. Maybe there is after all some valuable insight that men can get from these books to help them become more successful in their flirting attempts. Making the contact is important, but the 1st flirt is like a billboard, which if it is very attractive, will invite a pathway that leads to a conversation. It is important to remember that all the signs of interest that a flirt presents should be there. You have to be interested and your body language will speak the words you cannot. Guys flirt is often sexual flirt, which is indicative on their body language. That can be very unattractive to most women, and that is what the flirting books help men realize.

Who are these flirting books aimed at? Well, books on flirting are for the person normally a man or woman who are interested in unleashing their flirting power. It is clear that although flirting is an in-born and natural human attraction mechanism not many people have honed in on the skill. This means that some people are good with the 1st flirt and others need to learn how to use their body especially their face a whole lot more. The reality is that we all can flirt and like sex it doesn't hurt to improve on the natural skills that Mother Nature gave us.

Playing attraction games is a perfectly normal human behaviour. We can only learn how to improve our chances of attracting that potential future partner if we play the game properly. The flirting game has no set rules and it is for this reason that even if you do read books on flirting, there is no real guarantee that they will work for you. After all, flirting is about oozing confidence and being self-assured. You have to feel hypnotic power of your own stare.

The 1st flirt should always be about initiating contact. Adding a smile to your eyebrow lifted sexual stare will attract the kind of attention you want. That will be your ticket to opening or initiating a serious conversation and after that you can play your own destiny cards.

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The Sexiest Things to Do After Sex

BROOKE LE POER TRENCH

Turn your afterglow into a fiery inferno.

Prolong the pleasure of a steamy romp with these postcoital pleasers.
It's a head-scratcher. Having sex puts men to sleep but wakes women up. So while you're craving a little postcoital closeness with your man, he's zoned out in front of Saturday Night Live reruns or catching some zzz's. Why? Unfortunately, the cocktail of sex hormones released after both women and men climax can have the opposite effect on our postsex wish list. "Studies show that following intercourse, the male brain often goes into a rest state -- he feels drained and tired -- while the woman's brain is stimulated and intensely desires bonding," explains Michael Gurian, therapist and author of What Could He Be Thinking: How a Man's Mind Really Works.

Fear not, though. We've overcome those biological obstacles and identified afterplay pleasers that will satisfy you both. Some are designed to short-circuit his snooze reflex and electrify his bod; others indulge his just-shagged daze while feeding your need for intimacy. Read on to discover the randy moves that will create the most pleasurable and satisfying after-sex moments you've had with your man yet.

Pay Him a Carnal Compliment
Guys are suckers for hearing about their sizzling sex skills. When you mention the mattress moves that drove you wild, it strokes his ego and makes him feel virile. "Men can feel anxious about their performance, so they really want to hear it from you that you had a good time in bed," says Judy Kuriansky, Ph.D., author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to a Healthy Relationship. Your flattering feedback will keep him from dozing -- he's definitely gonna stay awake for this performance assessment -- and kick-start light conversation, which you may be in the mood for right about now.

So recall the evening's erotic events in detail, but don't go too over the top with your carnal confessions. "Whenever a girl raves about the sex but doesn't give specifics, I feel like she's blowing smoke up my ass," admits Ewan,* 27. To start, you can describe your favorite body lock: "That position where I got on top and we both straightened our legs -- wow!" Or opt for a little technique approval: "I really liked the way you kept so still while I was climaxing."

Your dirty talk will stay with him long after your thong has been retrieved from the ceiling fan. "It leaves a sexy impression," assures Josh, 25. Plus, there's a long-term benefit to this booty wrap-up: It imprints your "Yes, please!" moments in his memory for next time.

Give Him a Massage
Just because the sex is over doesn't mean it's hands-off. Massage is a great way to maintain that physical connection for you, while prolonging his bliss buzz. Obviously, foreplay hot spots -- such as his privates -- will be a tender no-go zone. "There's nothing worse than a girl who keeps handling your goods after sex," complains Matt, 27. "It's never a good idea." So, you need to unlock the erogenous zones that will keep your guy in a state of ongoing pleasure, not pain.

For a more relaxing and sensual session, position yourself so that you're lying on your side, facing him. "Trace light circles on his torso. Starting at the chest, move around the navel, skim the pelvic bone and continue back up," says Steve Capellini, massage therapist and author of Massage For Dummies. "Or stroke your fingertips from his collarbone down over his chest to his hip bones and back again." These moves allow you to tickle his fancy while still maintaining an intimate postpassion gaze.

If you want him to reciprocate, tempt him into action with a more invigorating touch. Capellini suggests a technique called percussion. Have your guy lie on his stomach and straddle him. "Bounce the sides of your hands or push and tap your fingertips along his back and buttocks," says Capellini. While you enjoy the tactile thrill of having your legs wrapped around him, your touch encourages increased blood flow, which makes him feel energized rather than drained -- and may even inspire him to return the favor.

Take a Shower
When Cosmo asked guys about the most sexalicious thing women could do after getting busy, this was their number-one plea: Suggest a shower for two. It's a no-brainer. Any situation that has you hot, wet, nude and invading his personal space is bound to overpower his postcoital crash response. "I love being pulled into the shower by my girlfriend after sex. Her wet body rubbing against me -- it's all good," says Andy, 28.

Start by taking turns slowly scrubbing each other's back, shoulders and neck. Then press up against your lover for some sexy snuggling under the shower stream, running your slippery, sudsy hands over his back and butt. The heat-soaked environment not only keeps your bods superclose, but it also actually prolongs the postorgasmic flush of your just-finished booty session. Here's how: "As the hot water hits your skin, it stimulates blood flow and circulation, which keeps your body feeling aroused," says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., a sexologist in San Francisco.

If all this postcoital closeness inspires something frisky to unfold between you and him, go there. But ultimately, being so together after being so intimate is often enough of a rush.

Touch Yourself
If the first romp has left you yearning for a repeat performance -- but he's totally wiped out -- turn your attention downstairs for some self-stimulation and leave the invitation open for him to take over. "Guys need time to recover before they can go again, and this is only made more difficult if they feel pressured," says Kuriansky. "So let him know you had an amazing time and you just want him to be there while you make the most of how aroused you feel."

Whether he joins in or not, guys love to watch, so it's a win-win situation. "A woman touching herself next to me in bed? That's about as good as life gets," says Christian, 25. Even if your ménage-à-moi doesn't tempt him out of retirement, you finish on a high note, and he gets a private peep show.

Snuggle Up
The ultimate compromise between his and her postcoital cravings is the snuggle up. Being held after sex feels so good for you, while he gets to kick back and indulge his snooze reflex. And the good news is, it's somewhat of a mattress myth that men are turned off by a little after-sex cuddling. "There is an assumption that men are more emotionally detached from intercourse than women are. But a lot of them do want to feel that closeness too," explains Carolynn Hillman, a sex therapist in New York City. Craig, 23, agrees. "I wouldn't announce it to my guy friends, but lying in bed together and holding my girlfriend after sex is a big part of the buzz."

Of course, if your man isn't a throw-his-arms-around-you kind of guy, saying "hold me" sounds kind of lame. Instead, let him settle into a comfortable snoozing position and then wrap his arm around you or spoon him and enjoy that just-shagged feeling.

Fun Fact: Crash or Dash? A guy is less likely to sleep over after a one-night stand because the hormone oxytocin, which makes him all lovey-dovey and contributes to his sedation, dissipates more quickly than when he's with a bona fide girlfriend.

Source: Michael Gurian, therapist and author of What Could He Be Thinking: How a Man's Mind Really Works.

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Secrets of Sexual Body Language

The Rule of Four

Martin Lloyd-Elliott, author of 'Secrets of Sexual Body Language,' says you need to observe four separate sexual body language cues to be sure someone is interested in you. Keep your eyes on everything, including hair, face muscles, skin, eyes, mouth, legs and even toes for potential signals. You may see many of these cues when you're with friends, which is natural, but just because you've seen the right kind of smile doesn't mean that he or she is hoping to hook up.

Shoulder Shrugs

Men and women unconsciously shrug or "flash" their shoulders when they find another person attractive. Women use the shoulders as a tease: "It can be subtle or obvious and can include the hand touching or moving over the skin of the shoulder.*" Men, on the other hand, will often use their shoulders to set territory and block other potential suitors.

Eyebrow Flash

When we see someone we're attracted to, we respond automatically with an eyebrow flash that lasts about a fifth of a second. Yet eyebrows come into play for more than attraction. A flash may be created just to start a friendly exchange. Combine an eyebrow flash with a roll of the eyes and it's a show of exasperation -- so be mindful of context. A natural, friendly flash comes and goes quickly.

Study the Pupils

Why is the woman on the right sexier than the one on the left? Because dilated pupils are a sure sign of interest and make a person more attractive. One of the reasons candlelit dinners set a romantic mood is they force pupils to open and help each person appear more attractive. But don't fool yourself that the person across the table from you in a dimly-lit room is attracted to you. That might just be some pupils opening automatically.

Faking It

You may think he's into you, but how do you know? When he smiles you can check the asymmetry of his mouth, which is often a tip-off for a forced grin. In this example, his intense eyes and clenched jaw suggest a tension that doesn't match an upbeat mood. A natural smile is usually broad and symmetrical.

A Little Attitude

Does male posturing work? Sometimes. "Such postures indicate dominance, and for many women, despite what modern feminists would prefer us to believe, it is still instinctively sexy and arousing to be in the company of a strong, confident and dominating man," says psychologist Lloyd-Elliott.

Scouting Territory

Women tend to be less territorial than men, who can regard every potential invasion of their territory, however friendly, as a threat. If you want to be invited into someone's space, lower or raise your eye level to meet his or hers. In this setting, the man is lower than the woman he's approaching, reducing the threat.

Mirroring Bodies

To increase their synchronicity, he adopts exactly the same body posture as her. His right shoulder angles his torso around to face her. He tilts his head slightly to one side to indicate that he's carefully listening. Although her torso still faces the pool, she smiles at him over her shoulder, which is extremely flirtatious.

Getting Intimate

Entering someone's personal space can be tricky. Lowering someone's barriers may be as simple as handing someone who has crossed arms a drink or offering someone the physical comfort or the reassurance of an arm or shoulder to cry on. But don't take for granted your invitation will be accepted.

Get A Copy Of "Secrets Of Sexual Body Language"

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Sex, Love, and Healing

Judyth Reichenberg-Ullman N.D., M.S.W., DHANP

Are you aware that there is a direct relationship between your intimate relationships and your health? Often the disease symptoms you may be experiencing are the red flags that your body-mind is using to let you know that some aspect of your relationship isn't working. The symptoms may not always seem obviously linked to a problem in your sex life or your relationship, but with a little exploration you may be surprised to discover the connection. Unless you look as deeply as possible into the causes of your symptoms or illness, we have found over and over again, that they're likely to persist, to return after a temporary healing, or to disappear only to be replaced by others which are more serious and life-disrupting. We are struck continually by how often people's physical, mental, or emotional complaints are caused by problems in their relationships which they have either given up on or chosen to ignore.

If there is anger, resentment, fear, jealousy or grief between lovers or feelings of sexual inadequacy, the genitals, uterus, ovaries, prostate gland, or testes may be directly affected. P.M.S., vaginitis, urethritis, urinary tract infections, breast prob- lems, painful sex, cervical dysplaisia, prostatitis, impotence, premature ejaculation and cancer of the reproductive organs, which prevent or limit sexual intercourse and intimacy, can be very strong statements about your relationship. Getting sexually transmitted diseases like venereal warts, herpes, or AIDS can sometimes be reflective of deeper feelings about the relationship that need to be dealt with, or feelings about your own sexuality, confidence, or self-love. Although no one would choose to get any of these illnesses consciously, the subconscious mind may have perfectly good and protective reasons for acquiring a painful, contagious or dysfunctional condition in order to limit sexual contact with your lover or make a statement about unspoken feelings. This is not to say that you are " to blame" for the disease, but rather that you might have subconsciously invited it into your life to teach you valuable lessons. In many cases it is absolutely necessary to heal the relationship issues before the physical illness can resolve and not return.

Roger, a single man in his twenties, had a lot of fear about sexuality and performance in his relationship with his girlfriend. He came to us because of a persistent, deep pain and tension in his groin, which became worse whenever he made love with his partner. There was no obvious physical problem, but the pain was very real. He began to avoid sex with his partner, which made her feel unwant- ed and unloved. His pain eventually caused him to leave the relationship in order to see if it would happen with other partners. He found that it was necessary to deal with his own feelings about sex and fears of inadequacy beforehe could have sex with anyone. Through treatment with a homeopathic remedy, emotional release work, movement therapy and hypnosis, Roger was able to get rid of the pain com- pletely, change the way he felt about himself as a man and love himself. He was able to make love with other partners, and considered returning to his primary relation- ship with renewed hope that he would be able to make love with the woman he desired to be with the most.

Claire, a busy lawyer, and her husband, John, were unhappy in their marriage of 3 years. When they had first been together they had made love all the time, some- imes several times a day and really enjoyed it. She had come to expect that level of attention and felt unloved if she didn't get it. John, an equally busy executive, just couldn't find the time or the energy to have sex that much anymore. He loved Claire, but he couldn't handle her moods, especially before her period, when she could fly into violent rages if she felt slighted or he didn't want to have sex. Over time, as Claire became more demanding, John became more reluctant, and even- tually began having trouble getting an erection. Between the P.M.S. and the impotence, their love life became both a battleground and a disaster. They began avoiding sex more and more, and eventually were hardly speaking to each other. Through couples counseling, homeopathic treatment and individual therapy, it became clear that the main problem was miscommunication and misunderstanding. Neither Claire nor John knew how to help the other feel loved and special. They needed to learn to speak each other's love language. When they had had a lot of sex, it was easier for each of them to feel loved, but as their life demands intervened, and sex became less frequent, the amount of loving that they gave each other markedly decreased. They had to realize, in the process of healing their relationship, that there was much more to loving than just being sexual with each other. When they each learned a number of other ways to express their love and caring so that their partner would really get the message, Claire's PMS became very mild, and John's impotence evaporated. The sex which they did have, although less frequent than during their honeymoon, stopped being a battleground, and became a source of real fulfillment and love in their relationship again.

Harriet was 48 when she first came to see us two years ago. She had just separated from her husband of 25 years and had mixed feelings of relief, excitement, and moments of insecurity verging on panic. Her husband was a compulsive gambler. She had gone along with all of his decisions, stuffed her anger and rarely argued or cried. She became silent and withdrawn. Yet she blamed herself for the failure of the marriage. "If only I had been smarter, worked harder, been a better wife, etc, etc." She made love out of duty alone. She had many recurrent bladder infections,, gas and constipation, and chronic allergies which drove her crazy. By the time she came in, she was afraid of "just about anything" and had no trust in her own ability to make good decisions in her relationships and her life. Now, after two years of homeopathic treatment, counseling and hypnosis (during which time she remem- bered a childhood experience of sexual abuse), and a sincere determination to change her patterns, she is a new person. She has learned to trust and express her feelings more, is more assertive about what she wants, has a new career which she loves, and a new relationship with a man who nurtures and "adores" her.

If you are having persistent health problems, sexual or otherwise,which haven't responded to orthodox medicine, consider looking further and deeper. When your sex organs are crying out for attention, look at the parts of your relationship that are just as sensitive, vulnerable, and in need of attention. Pelvic pain, abnormal Pap smear, problems with intercouse, or other symptoms, may be urging you to evaluate how you feel about your lover, your sex life, and your life together. Do you feel happy, loved, creative, and nurtured? Are your reproductive organs or other parts of you trying to get you to make a change and to heal your relationship in ways you might have been ignoring?

Drs. Judyth Reichenberg-Ullman and Robert Ullman are naturopathic and homeopathic physicians and cofounders of the Northwest Center for Homeopathic Medicine in Edmonds, WA. They are coauthors of The Patient's Guide to Homeopathic Medicine and Beyond Ritalin: Homeopathic Treatment of ADD and Other Behavioral and Learning Problems. They can be reached at (206) 774-5599.

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