Japanese women share the trials of a life without climax

Ryann Connell

Chizuru looks every bit the party girl in her revealing, body-hugging dress. The image is confirmed when she admits frequently picking up guys at nightclubs. But when she gets them home, she says she suddenly undergoes a transformation.

"I become this shy woman who can't say what's on her mind," she tells Spa!, admitting that she's never had an orgasm despite considerable sexual experience -- an affliction apparently plaguing every second Japanese woman.

"I love sex," Chizuru says. "It feels really good when somebody plays with my clitoris. And I really love it when their finger goes deep into me. But every time I reach the stage where it's like, 'Oh, God, just a little bit more, keep going,' they all stop. And I never orgasm."

The 30-year-old IT company worker says she's had plenty of partners who've tried their hardest to bring her to a peak, but she's never been able to assail the summit and often resorts to faking to avoid hurting feelings.

"The guys have tried hard for me, so I kinda feel obliged to fake it," she says. "I basically learned what to do by copying adult movies. I hold my breath for about five seconds, then let out a moan. I don't think anybody's ever realized. I don't want to act, though."

Chizuru is determined to one day reach orgasm.

"I can't bear the thought of dying without having come at least once. I think that idea's really sad. Nobody knows how much longer they've got to live, but I want to find out what it's like."

Aika Miyajima, a 27-year-old temp worker, knows where Chizuru's, er, coming from. Though she says she enjoys making love as much as the next person, she has no idea what it's like to climax.

"I don't really like cunnilingus, but I put up with it because I figure it might help in the end. Same with having my clitoris rubbed -- it hurt, but it's kinda like 'Ah well, I'll grin and bear it for as long as I can because something better might come up,'' Miyajima tells Spa!, adding that she's tried to bring herself off in the past. "When I put my finger in, I don't really know where to touch. Should I go deep? Or just stay around the edges? I figure if I knew where it felt good, I'd be able to make myself orgasm. But, in the end, I really have no idea how to masturbate properly. I keep trying, but I calm down and get to a point where I start asking myself what the hell I'm doing. Besides, I've got long fingernails, so I don't reckon I can masturbate."

Yoko Kirita, a 29-year-old construction company OL, is another woman who's never orgasmed. She sought the help of others to try and overcome her problem, joining a "threesome club."

"It was fantastic going together with two guys. I was totally at ease. I tried other stuff like orgies and with women," she tells Spa!, adding that she was still unable to reach her zenith. Even after meeting a chiropractor who learned every part of her body -- even through the back door -- and could make her ejaculate at will, she was still unable to orgasm.

"I've tried technically proficient types and unusual stuff, but I couldn't come. I thought that a woman had to love somebody before she could orgasm, but even when I was with a guy I loved there was nothing. I still don't know what it is to orgasm. I'm beginning to think I'll never know what it's like."

Noriko Kano, a writer on Japan's adult movie industry, knows exactly how Kirita feels... or doesn't feel, to be more precise. Despite having spent the past 15 years fiddling with her clitoris -- she calls it her "life work" -- Kano has never had an orgasm during sex.

"I figure it's because I've masturbated too much. I do it at least once a day, so I think my genitals have become desensitized. But I can't possibly give it up. I started when I was in elementary school and found my parents' porno mags. I think that really influenced my attitude toward sex. I became obsessed with making sure that I could bring a man to orgasm," the writer tells Spa!

Kano says that she's tried everything imaginable to have an orgasm, including using a vibrator and rubbing her nether region roughly up against her partner's pelvis every time he lets her ride atop of him -- but all to no avail.

"I guess him coming is like me coming. When he orgasms, I'm relieved and filled with pure pleasure," Kano tells Spa! "But if he gets excited by me having an orgasm, it looks like I've got a bit more work to do on myself yet."

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