JULIE TAYLOR
Make his satisfaction skyrocket by turning him on to deliciously unexpected strokes, pressure and temperature changes.
In your pursuit of becoming a great lover, there's an important lesson to be learned: It really helps to mix things up and vary your technique. "By experimenting with different degrees of touch and temperature, you will expose your man's body to a variety of thrilling physical reactions he hasn't felt before," says biopsychologist Mark S. Blumberg, Ph.D., author of Body Heat. "These diverse sensations dramatically increase arousal, heighten skin sensitivity and release pleasure-fueling endorphins." To find out how to treat your guy to some of the most electrifying sensations he's never experienced, read on.
Heat Him Up!
Why it works: Adding heat to the right spots on your guy's bod will actually boost his sensitivity to touch. "Applying warmth raises his thermal temperature, causing his blood flow to increase, which, in turn, makes his skin more receptive to stimulation," explains Blumberg. And a little heat goes a long way.
Mind-blowing moves: Fire up your sack sessions by breathing new life into foreplay...literally. "When you blow on his skin, your warm breath creates a change in temperature, which heightens arousal," says Stella Resnick, Ph.D., author of The Pleasure Zone. Simply let your parted lips linger over his more sensitive spots, like his stomach or neck, and gently exhale. Juliana,* 23, swears this technique is not all hot air. "My guy actually quivers whenever I blow on his earlobes and nipples while we're fooling around," she says. "He always tells me he gets such a rush when I do that."
If you want to bring your man to the boiling point, try this hot-water trick. Put a warm ‑- not scalding ‑- cup of H2O by the bed. Before you go down on him, take a sip to get your mouth nice and toasty, and swallow. Then take another small sip, but this time hold on to the liquid as you take him in your mouth, swish the water around his member for a few seconds and then swallow. If any of it spills on him, just lick it off; we promise, he won't mind one little bit.
Another trick that's sure to raise his temperature: Use heat-activated lube. Squeeze a nickel-size dollop onto your palm and rub your hands together. Then gently massage it all over his shaft and testicles. But take your time. The longer you rub, the warmer it gets, and what you really want is for him to enjoy the slow burn.
Play Rough
Why it works: "Men love when women are more aggressive and wild in bed," says Resnick. "It communicates desire and unbridled lust. It shows that you're hot for him." Periodically let your inner animal out and turn your guy on to some seriously primal passion.
Mind-blowing moves: Putting a little muscle into your sexual MO is as much about attitude as it is technique. So from the very start, you need to make sure your man knows who's boss. Set off the action with a must-have-you-now lip-lock: Push your lips into his and grab a bunch of his hair and pull as you're playing tonsil hockey. "The scalp is loaded with nerve endings, so tugging on his hair releases feel-good endorphins," explains Resnick. "Instead of causing him pain, it will actually feel pleasurable to him." Then proceed to treat your guy to a rough massage as you knead, rub and trail your nails over every inch of his bod...and don't be afraid to use a little force. "Men's skin tends to be thicker than women's, so they can often handle ‑- and want ‑- more pressure," says sex expert Laura Corn, author of The Great American Sex Diet.
That tough-love technique applies to his manhood as well (only his shaft though; his testicles demand more delicate attention). "Most women assume that men's genitals are as sensitive as their own," says Resnick. "But many men actually prefer a firm grip when they're being manually stimulated." With that in mind, ask him to let you know just how rough he wants you to get the next time you're heading south for some lusty manhandling.
Once you've worked him into a frenzy, grab his wrists and bind them together with a scarf, hop on top and have your way with him. Another rough, raunchy move: Tell your guy that you want him to take you from behind. But don't make him do all the work. Move your pelvis back and forth in sync with his thrusts, so your bodies are slapping against each other when they make contact.
You can even be a little brutish with him in the usually tame missionary position, as Jordan, 32, discovered with his randy girlfriend. "I used to think the missionary position was kind of boring. You know, the same old, same old," he says. "Then I met Sasha, and she changed my mind. We were having sex with me on top, and all of a sudden she grabbed my butt cheeks, squeezed them tight and pulled me so close to her. It was like she wanted my whole body to be inside of her. Then she started swatting my behind...hard! It actually hurt a little, but at the same time it was pretty exciting!"
Cool Him Down
Why it works: It might sound like an oxymoron, but cooling off your guy's steamy body actually gets him hotter. "Nerve cells respond to even the slightest change in temperature," explains Maria Bykhovskaia, Ph.D., assistant professor of neuroscience at Lehigh University. "By stimulating one location on his body with something cold, you set off a chain reaction that electrifies and energizes your man all over."
Mind-blowing moves: The easiest way to initiate thrills with chills: Ice him. That's what Rebecca, 27, discovered, after being inspired by a sexy flick she watched with her boyfriend. "In one scene, there was a close-up of the woman running an ice cube all over a man's sweaty body. It was unbelievably erotic, and my guy and I couldn't wait to get home to reenact it."
If you want to try the ice trick with your guy, here's how: Have him lie on his back, hold a cube in your hand and slowly draw an icy line from his neck all the way down one side of his body, up the inside of his leg (but staying away from his member), down the other side and back up again. You'll make him really shiver with excitement if you spend some extra time on his often-ignored but highly sensitive erogenous areas, like his earlobes, the crease in his thigh and his nipples. "Women tend to forget about men's nipples, but they can be just as receptive to pleasure as yours," says Resnick. Use the cube to trace circles around his headlights. Or suck on the cube for a minute and then use your frosty tongue to lick each nipple.
Another reason ice can heat up your lovemaking: It keeps your guy energized and helps him last longer. "Cold sensations in a quick burst will wake him up and make him more sexually alert," explains Bykhovskaia. "So if your man is getting close to climax when you're having sex and you need a little more time, placing something cold against his skin, like on the small of his back, will distract him enough to regain control." Even though you're keeping him from climaxing, you'll extend the ecstasy by making it better for both of you.
Electrify His Skin
Why it works: Sure, guys may like it fast and furious. But there's a bigger pleasure payoff when you take your time and treat his body to tantalizingly light, teasing touches. "The anticipation of barely-there strokes builds a slow hunger in him, which culminates in a more intense orgasm," says Corn.
Mind-blowing moves: Okay, he knows you'll ultimately end up down south, but not knowing when or how you'll get there is what makes the preplay touch-athon so sensual. "When your partner is not sure where your featherlight strokes will strike next, it keeps him in a heightened state of sexual arousal," says Corn.
Begin to trace a titillating trail along his body, but don't take the obvious route. Rather than beginning with a kiss and working your way down, try a less obvious starting spot, like his tootsies, suggests Corn. "Surprisingly, his toes are a big erogenous zone," she says. "They're packed full of nerves, and since they're often neglected, stimulating them can produce an unexpectedly pleasurable shock."
To give him a frisky foot job, gently rub each toe between your thumb and forefinger, moving up and down the V between them. After you've worked your way though all 10 of them, retrace your steps, only this time, use the tip of your tongue and lick each toe as if it were a penis. This will send a bolt of erotic electricity through his system, giving him a preview of the pleasure to come.
Since surprise is key, rather than working your way up his legs (yawn!), let your nipples skim lightly along his body as you head up to tongue his neck and ears. Or use your hair to trace a ticklish trail up and down his torso. And if you really want to electrify his bod, give him a double whammy by targeting two hot spots at once. "Stimulating two areas simultaneously is incredibly exciting for your man because he's experiencing two sources of pleasure rather than one," says Keith Eric Grant, Ph.D., director of the sports and deep-tissue massage program at the McKinnon Institute in Oakland. Plus, it kind of feels like he's being worked on by two women, which is many guys' favorite fantasy.
To keep the shudder factor high, make sure you don't stay on one spot for too long, or he'll lose the rush. "When he's responding fully, his muscles will quiver slightly under your touch," says Grant. "If he's completely still, that means he's becoming desensitized in that area, and it's time for you to move on to another target." Now all you need to decide on is which lusty locale you'll pleasure next.
Sensations to Skip
Five tactile moves that are sure to send him running
1. Treating him to a walking back massage in four-inch stilettos
2. Dripping hot wax on him. Anywhere. Scalding skin is so not sexy.
3. Rubbing him down with vanilla, rose, jasmine or any other girlie-scented oil
4. Tickling him with the duster you use for housecleaning
5. Spanking his butt until he cries out for Mommy
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